:: 2001-09-09 :: 12:33 p.m. ::
:: Disappointed in the project ::

Sorry about that whining yesterday.

In a way I'm very happy to be back. And I'm sure things will get better when we start working again. In fact I'm not at all sure about that, but I'm trying to be positive.

I have come to the conclusion that I am a bit disappointed in my project. It's not the work. Unlike in the beginning, we now have quite enough to do and I do like working with children even though I frequently complain about it. Mostly it's just the way things are organised (mostly the way they haven't been organised at all) and then unfortunately the people. That's of course something I couldn't know before coming here and in all honesty things could be much worse. It's just that I don't think that Adrien or Laurent are doing very good job with us.

Laurent should be the one to take care that everything goes smoothly with the food and free time and language courses. We see him maybe twice a month if we are lucky. On the other hand he has been in LaRochette almost daily. The distance is about 20 km. For me it seems just pure laziness that he doesn't even come to see us.

We still don't have the phone and I have given up all hope that we'll never have it. I just don't understand why they couldn't just tell us that we won't get a phone in the first place. Then we could've figured out something else. Like given the number of the youth hostel to our parents and tell them to call to that number. That is exactly what I'll do now. On the other hand I find it hard to believe that getting one phone to us would cost more than getting cable television to LaRochette to Manu & Ale after their oven broke and they couldn't cook warm meals for two days. Call me stupid if you like but I can't really see the logic in that. An oven breaks down. Laurent goes and buys a television. It's not like you can cook with that. Of course the girls could eat at the hostel all that time for free and their oven got fixed so they ended up with cable television AND an oven in the end.

In the project description it's written that in my project we should have language courses throughout the whole project. Now Adrien is saying that they have already used all the money they had for the language courses (=no more french courses for us). How is this possible? Well... they were a bit slow in finidng out when the courses start so they were all full by the time we got the information. So they had to find another language school, which unfortunately was three times more expensive. Tough luck for us and it wasn't really our fault that this happened.

The most annoying thing is that if I complain about these things they will get angry at me, which will ultimately lead to a bad final report. Angel agrees with me but doesn't complain. One thing more why he annoys me. As I'm the only one who opens her mouth to disagree I'm the bad girl in their eyes.

I'm also the one who has more troubles with the french language as it's very easy for Angel because it's so similar to spanish. I am also the one who has no degree in media studies and has not worked for televison like Angel has. I'm the one who is vegetarian causing more troubles for Adrien when he has to organise meals for us. I am the one who has more problems with getting used to the country and culture and the fake friendliness and the fake promises which mean absolutely nothing to these people. I am also the one who still has no real friends here mostly resulting from the fake friendliness and empty promises. I'm also the one whose relatives die and who gets sick and has to go to the hospital again meaning more work for all the others. I'm such a trouble for Adrien.

I do like Luxembourg and the work and we do have fun sometimes too, but if they could just concentrate a bit more on organising the things the way they should be organised I'd be so much happier. I'm now seriously trying not to be annoyed by Angel. It's not his fault that I don't fit in. He just happens to be the only one here to whom I can be angry at. Unfortunate for him ;)